The DSI Comedy Theater
I recently accepted a new job, and started the process of moving across the country from my current life. I have been living in Chapel Hill North Carolina for the past 4 years, and very quickly I received and offer for a new job, accepted, and got whisked away in the process of moving and transition. The great things about transitions is we get to sit back and be introspective, we see the good the bad and the should have done’s! I have really enjoyed these last couple weeks, and I think they have really forced me to solidify my life philosophies and purpose going forward. While this has been something I have been thinking about for a while, this direct major crossroad in my life has forced me into action. So sit back relax and enjoy as I wax and wane a bit about what I have discovered.
I have always been an easy and quick transitioner. When I went to college, within one evening I had friends and a purpose, when I moved to Arizona the first time, I quickly found my way and excitement. When I moved to North Carolina, none of that happened. Maybe it was because for the first time in my life I didn’t have school, and it took me awhile to find out what that meant for me. Maybe it was because I didn’t find the friend connections to really push me. For whatever reason, I spent a lot of time struggling. So much I thought about leaving during that first year, I thought about my options and what that would mean to make another transition so quickly. Happily I did not do that, and truly that was probably never actually an option, but the thought process existed.
Then a few things changed. First and foremost I took an improv class at DSI Comedy Theater. Improv was something that I was enamored with for a long time. I loved Whose Line, I watched the improv team at my grad school, and just wanted to always give it a try. I knew DSI existed, and why I waited so long, I am not sure, but the right things come along at the right time. From that first night of class, with the ever awesome Paula Pazderka, I knew this was the thing I wanted to do.
My staff on the last night I lived in North Carolina
At some point I also found another shift. In all fronts, I found some people who truly cared about me, be it at work, church and the improv world. I am reminded directly of the Amy Poehler Harvard graduation speech, “find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.” I found some great people, the one’s who challenge you on a continual basis, the one’s who want you to be a better, the one’s you can argue and debate with in a mutually beneficial way, where everyone leaves the conversation better.
Life in improvland flourished. Soon I was a company member, I kept collecting teams to be apart of, soon I was allowed the awesome privilege of teaching and coaching others. Improv became a very important outlet and purpose in life. I had friends and deep connections outside of work, one of the best outlets that I developed in going to a place where I did not have family or friends before moving there.
One thing I have always known about myself is I need to be connected on an emotional level to the things I am apart of, and the people I am with. I found these things in improv, DSI is a real gem, a place where “yes and” truly lives and people get to work together to make great things happen on stage. The Newman Center where I have been attending church was a place where I was also finding community. At work I had solidified a great friend group and hired a staff of students I truly cared about and worked best in my style of supervision. All of these things add up to a very difficult place to leave, hence the current state of separation that I am working through.
Through all of this work I have learned several things. First and foremost I am 100% emotionally connected here. I am a Tar Heel and I am proud of that, I have gotten to meet and work with amazing people. At my core I am an improviser, that is something I will NEED to have in my life forever more, and probably the thing I want to spend the most time with going forward.
Also, over the last couple days I have received very humbling words of thanks and love from all aspects of my world. At work we had a goodbye lunch that was every emotional and kind. At DSI I was given the opportunity to perform several shows over my last weekend and was given maybe one of the nicest gifts I have ever received, in which people wrote out what the liked about me the person and as an improviser. I have had many authentic and genuine conversations with people recently about what I meant to them, some that I have known and many impacts I have had on others that I was unaware of. While it has been amazing to have these conversations, I wish we took the time to tell the people we love that we love them on a more regular basis. There are so many people I want to say nice things to, and tell them this is what you did for me, and sadly with my limited time schedule those things won’t be able to happen. I hope to not let that occur in the future and be freer with my authentic conversations.
Lastly, this whole experience has really allowed me to fully actualize my life philosophy. At some point during this past year I started using the following to phrase “live you life and do good!” 
For the first part I think we need to spend more time actually living the life and doing the things we want to do. Everyone spends too much time not doing what they love, or day dreaming about that cool idea instead of going out there and actually doing it. Limit the should have done’s, create an actual to done list! No one else is going to tell us to follow our dreams or take that big step, actually its quite the opposite most people ask you to think out your options and take the safe bet, but we should not. As in an improv scene we need to make bold choices early and often. And the last part is do good, a pretty simple adage. If at every moment I ask myself am I doing the right thing or doing something that is good for myself and others then I am probably on the right track.
